I had an interesting experience the other day.
I was in the mood for another coffee so I decided to go for a walk to the coffee room. As I entered, another employee was standing there making herself a tea. I said, “Hello” and she replied, “It’s tea time” then walked out.
As I thought about this comment I realized how often we pass by people, both in the office and on the street, and the dialogue you get is basically the other person pointing out exactly what they are doing. In this case, the tea in her hand was an obvious indication that perhaps she wanted a tea. Although I wasn’t aware that there was an actual Tea Time – I am familiar with Tee Times and Miller Time - so I figured much of the information out for myself.
Friends or Colleagues?
Maybe the short talk is made because people in offices spend so much time around people that they didn’t choose to be with – the company chooses them. When you think about a normal work day (in office) you realize that people end up spending about 40 hours per week (excluding business lunches) with their colleagues. Although some people may cross the colleague line and become friends, a majority of the people in an office will never speak once they’re gone. All that useless chatter down the drain!
Do You Care?
The other reason that you have a lot of useless chatter is because most of the time people really don’t care about what the other person is saying. It’s not to say that they aren’t interesting, it’s just that their topics are not interesting to you. Personally, I like to talk about travel, business ideas, wealth generation and internet marketing. Guess what? Most people like to talk about Britney Spears, Sports (I don’t mind the odd soccer talk) and movies. All that’s left to talk about are common items such as work, weather and tea.
I guess that telling people what you are doing, rather than having a real conversation, saves you from all the hassle of trying to act interested. That being said, what it doesn’t do is help you get to know people, create a solid network and move your way up through an organization.
Just something to think about…
If you’re a victim of useless chatter, consider my Full Feed RSS.
I’m reading your article!!
Posted by ktl | September 13, 2007, 10:34 amHaving more topics to talk is a must for networking.
Posted by David | September 13, 2007, 11:22 amNo kidding. It’s tough to try and come up with things to say to people that you don’t have much in common and see every day!
I can foresee a post coming…topics of conversation when you’re totally uninterested!
Posted by Lewis Empire | September 13, 2007, 10:01 pmBut it is even more tough if you won’t even try and see if you have something in common. I have a colleague that is totally different from me in many things, he is married, he loves soccer (hell we are in Italy) and he is very shy, and i am the very opposite of all that.
At the beginning yeah we would kinda keep the distance, but the person I am, we kept distance for only the first week when he started working at my work place.
Later on, we discovered to have something in common, we like to joke and to have a laugh. Can you believe that every 5 seconds we had free during the working hours we would laugh or make fun of the newcomers (new colleagues).
The fact is, that sometimes we don’t even give the chance to people to talk and to see whats behind that persons skin. I am personally very selective when I make friends and i chose with who i want to share a table in the pub and talk with, but i am also the first person that gives chance to the others. (just trying to point out that everyone needs a chance to speak, sometimes when i see shy people I kinda pull their words out of their mouth, there is something interesting they might say at one point
).
Posted by SEO Optimization | September 15, 2007, 5:55 amI completely agree with you, everyone should have the opportunity to be heard. The problem is that when you work in an office with a few hundred people, there are only so many lunches you want to spend with people you don’t really know.
This is where networking takes over. If you’re good friends with 4 or 5 people and they are friends with 3 or 4 other people, then use that to your advantage. Go out for a group lunch to get to know other people.
Some of my best friends are those who didn’t get along with me at first. It took some time but once we found something that we both enjoyed there was no looking back.
Posted by Lewis Empire | September 15, 2007, 10:18 amit seems like people are afraid to make new friends because they might be worried about what others think. i’ve never really had a time when someone didn’t say “i hope your friends like me” or “i hope they don’t think i’m boring” society has placed this thought process in our heads of having an ‘image’ and people hold to it way too much. if everyone loosened up a bit we’d all be a little happier and have a larger group of people to chat with or go out and enjoy the weekend with.
Posted by doug m | September 17, 2007, 6:08 pm